She is now pregnant...

It should be a thing of joy and should not put a strain on your relationship. This is because a pregnant woman has raging hormones that can cause her to become irritable and hard to get along with. As her husband, there is what to do at such moments.

Really, to a spouse with difficulty in getting pregnant, it could be a frustrating experience trying to cope with a pregnant wife. But it could be exciting too as long as you are patient and committed to resolving these issues.

Support your partner

According to www.ehow.com, you have to utilize 'I' statements and 'reflective listening'. Remember, they don't 'feel' the same as you. Sit next to each other and look into each others' eyes. Engage her in frequent conversations and encourage her to tell you how she feels and try to visualize these feelings.

Pamper her

You need to pamper your wife and give her an opportunity to vent her feelings. There is no magic to resolving this problem quickly and without any pain. It is impossible to control the hormonal changes, but keep an open mind and have lots of patience. Keep communicating with her and give her your shoulder to cry on whenever she becomes over-emotional. This problem reduces by the end of the first trimester as the baby grows.

Remind her of her beauty

Due to the weight gain, she may think she is ugly. Why not remind her of how beautiful she is? You should show happiness by getting closer to her and talking to the baby. Your wife feeling undesirable? You need to remind her of how beautiful she is. Pamper her, kiss her belly, and talk to the baby through her belly. Let her know you enjoy being close to her and enjoy touching her expanding belly. It is common for one or the other partners to feel fearful about sexual intimacy during pregnancy; you both can consult your doctor and speak about these concerns.

Get involved

A pregnant woman tends to get all the attention. He tends to become jealous and possibly, resentful of this. Oftentimes, this can cause a great deal of tension between the couple.

It is important to include the father in the entire process- visits to the obstetrician, shopping for the baby etc. He may or may not want to be part of this, but giving him the opportunity shows that you want him to be involved.

Ask for help

In addition, it is really important to communicate with your partner and utilize him as a support. For example, ask him for a foot massage, words of encouragement, or if he could do one of your household chores for the day. If you don't ask, you won't get your needs met. Many pregnant women try to be super heroes and do everything themselves.

Be patient

Resolving these issues that may arise during pregnancy take commitment and patience as pregnancy is both an exciting and frustrating time for each parent. No matter how frustrated you feel, exercise a lot of caution and restraint when you want to vent your anger as doing otherwise will further complicate issues.

Take responsibility for your emotions

First of all, when you are pregnant, you need to take responsibility for your emotions and behaviors by constantly keeping yourself in check. Ask yourself where you are at emotionally and psychologically. Rate yourself on a scale of one to ten. First, being that you are feeling tired, emotional, or insecure. Then, that you feel energized, happy, or excited about your pregnancy. This way, when an 'unpredictable' pregnancy symptom like constipation creeps up on you, you know that you are not going to be able to handle much on your plate. Your best decision in that instance would be to avoid over stressing yourself.

Communicate frequently

You need to share all the feelings of panic, stress, fear, and all the insecurities during this phase because that make matters worse. Sometimes, you can see that both of you are stressed about the same problems. Stress is harmful to the unborn baby, so be honest and open when resolving conflicts.

Embrace a saving culture

Another mouth to feed and you automatically start worrying about how you are going to afford a child when it seems you can hardly afford supporting the two of you. We all know that raising a child can be an enormous financial responsibility, and there are many costs related to rearing a child. Start a savings plan long before you decide to have a baby, and you will surely be amazed to find the amount that you might have saved up.

Source: The Punch Nigeria

IMOH, Patrick E.
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